from me to you...
hey Dear.
missed you so much.
as promised,
i'll tell you everything that happened since the post about him was published.
i copied these from my diary.
here goes nothing.
27 JULY 2010
-yay! for the first time, we passed by each other since... i don't even remember.
but i'm happy.i only saw naq so i was a bit clumsy and panicked but i was
shocked when i saw aniq beside naq. haha! i almost smiled in front of him but
luckily i didn't. i smelled his perfume. so sweet. =) somehow i'm a bit worried
because he looked so sick and he seemed thinner. or is it just my feelings?
i miss him. i'll miss him. btw, i got to know that fuzzy actually told him that
the person apologizing admire him. ALHAMDULILLAH he doesn't know who.
i hope.
-i was fired back by eff. touche much! mad at him, yes. but i just told myself
to be patient.
-a new student in class. i felt disturbed. a girl, fyi.
-i was offered to be a prefect.what to do~!!! HELP! i hate making choices.
i hope someone can help me.
-btw, he's red-dressed today.
this is like the best day ever since i got the news about his cancer.
why?
haha.
it's because of the 'incident', i think.
i really almost smiled in front of him at that time.
luckily i'm a fast walker.
but near the toilet, i stopped and smelled his perfume.
it smells nice, i can say that.
ok, call me crazy or whatever cuz i don't even know what has gotten into me.
i really hope fuzzy didn't tell him who i am.
i'm sure i'll be dead if she does.
about eff, hurmm.
i was really touched and hurt.
i was shocked and didn't say a word to him after that.
the new student's zila.
i was a bit disturbed because she's from cheras technical institution and ex-bainunian.
i was afraid she might stole my tiara.
haha, coward much.
yup, that's me.
the prefect thing, really makes me go nuts that time.
one of the things i hate the most is making choices.
either you make your choice or go crazy.
aniq's baju melayu's red in colour today.
i like this one because i like maroon.
the dark red.
28 JULY 2010
-raining this morning. didn't see aniq at all until after dinner. i chased him
with alyn but not too close. enough to see him from the back.
-he was wearing his 'wedding dress'.
-for maghrib, he was the one who iqamat. i miss his voice...
-i'm gonna miss him a lot. it's only two more days to go for him to stay in
hostel (according to fuzzy and ikmal)
the wedding dress is his white satin (i think) baju melayu.
it really does looks like a wedding dress you know.
haha. [^_^]
29 JULY 2010
-i saw him today at the assembly. i'm using all the time i have too see him before
he become an outsider. i'll miss him by then a lot.
-ikmal said he'll go out on sunday. perhaps this saturday he'll come. yay! i'm a bit
glad but at the same time worried i'll never be able to see him again. i hope
not. i really REALLY do hope NOT.
-one more thing, ikmal said he's holding on. if he manage, he will be operated
after SPM. but if he couldn't, he'll be operated during SPM.
-Ya ALLAH, please save him. Forgive him and his sins, please YA ALLAH.
i love him. AKU SAYANG ANIQ.
-today, it's red-checkered baju Melayu.
-aniq's the one who iqamat for Isya'. azan, i'm not sure. but i saw him get
into the room. i couldn't recognize the voice of the bilal, that's why i'm not sure
whether it was him or other person. but i will miss that sweet, immature voice.
=D
ok, corny.
obsessed much?
never thought i'd wote something like that.
a total embarrassment if i thought about it.
30 JULY 2010
-on top of all, i would say, i'll never forget aniq somehow.
-saw him this morning; while accompanying alyn to fill water. during assembly i
was staring at him almost every min and sec because i'm afraid i don't know
whether i'll be able too see him like this when he's become an outsider. as usual,
he's smart.. ;)
-imam for Isya', him. i was quite disturbed. so i decided to perform Isya' prayer
again.
-he's red-dressed today.
-i think i shouldn't hope too high. Isya' prayer was the sign.
i don't even know why i can't take my eyes off him.
ok i can.
but my brain won't.
about the prayer, i couldn't concentrate.
why?
he made some mistake in reading surah al-Falaq.
no connections?
i know.
that's why i don't understand myself sometimes.
31 JULY 2010
-ary nie ary last aniq kt ostel. esok dye kuar.
-pg: sukan asrama. akuwh msok tarik tali. blok c aras bumi group 2 dpt no 3.
yay~!
-pg: aniq msok bola sepak. hak2. memang diowg dak aspura maen bola je pown.
srononk tp xsronok sbb dpt tgk dye maen tp sluar ats sket drpd lutut n tights.
in other words, ketat. hu2. tp tersgt~la sronok dpt tgk dye maen (wat stunt
sket2) td. ngee~ =D
-ptg: outing. memule xnk tp nk teman alyn. g JJ. mmg pusing abes. first g
popular. yes! akhirnye dpt gak akuwh bce "Benarkan Aku Jadi Pelayanmu".
he2. then g mkn kt food court. then, jln2 jap. bli aiskrim mcD sementara tggu
paan bli KFC. aliaa tau aniq nk kuar sok. paan pulak xsabo nk tgk aniq mlm nie.
agk jeles. hak2. well2, let's see him tonight.
-sory late. xlrt nk tls mlm td. dye pki ala2 waiter. white shirt, black vest, blue-black
trousers and black bow tie. prom queen:- yuna, k.domoi n k.kamala. prom king:-
farid, fitri hakim n ashraf. i received a few gifts; reference books and a glass trophy.
quite happy and very sad. happy because got to spend time with friends and sad
because aniq was always with someone. the f6 girls were taking pics with him.
heartbroken much? too much.
actually i almost lost alyn today.
ha2.
the story?
we split up and promised to meet again at the outside.
i searched the whole mall to find her.
i just prayed and left with paan, hoping she'll be safe since she's with the others.
ALHAMDULILLAH, she came back with the others.
i was really scared she'll wait for me and left alone at the mall.
crazy huh?
btw, i watched him did some stunts and it was quite interesting,
although he's not the school's soccer player.
i was really heartbroken when i saw him on stage with that girl.
i felt like, my heart's made of glass and suddenly it shatters into pieces but it's still
shaped like a heart.
not to mention the taking pictures part.
i couldn't watch it anymore so i left immediately after that.
i'm a bit disappointed since he didn't wear the red shirt and the blazer.
it looks nicer i think.
except for the part where he wears it with the bow-tie.
i only knew about the shirt when he uploaded his pics in facebook.
oh well, time can't be reversed.
LUAHAN HATI
Menyukaimu tapi dirimu tak disukai,
Menyayangimu tapi kau tak menyedari,
Menyimpan perasaan terhadapmu,
Peritnya semua terbuku dalam hati.
Sedih aku kerana pemergianmu,
Gembira aku melihat kelibatmu,
Kecewa aku kerana kau tak mungkin tahu,
Dirimu dikagumi, disukai dan disayangi,
Oleh orang yang tak pernah kau sedari.
Sentiasa berada di hadapanNya,
Dengan harapan kau kembali sembuh,
Tidak lagi menjadi dia yang tak setia,
Dan berada di hadapanku,
Agar aku bisa melihatmu sekali lagi.
that moment, i was thinking of him too much.
then, the poem was created.
in my life, this is the farthest step i have ever made involving a guy who's a
nobody (that's quite how i see him).
1 OGOS 2010
-kosong. sepi. bosan. itu konklusi bagi ape yang aku rase ary niey.
walaupun ada gelak tawa.
-Maafkan aku kerna menyintamu
Maafkan aku tak padan denganmu
Tapi ku berjanji
Kau slalu di hati
Akan ku jaga hingga akhir nanti
-Mungkin aku tidaklah sempurna
Tetapi hatiku memilikimu sepanjang umurku
Mungkin aku tak bisa memiliki
Dirimu seumur hidupku
-panggil ikmal pg td. tp dye xbalik lg pulak. hurmm... cdeyh. aniq da jd
outsider starting today kalo xslp.
2 OGOS 2010
-miss you. rindu kaw.
-first day without aniq at hostel, it hurts actually.
-miss everything about you: your voice, you wearing tight shirts, you
making announcements... i guess everything about you.
-i can't stop myself from thinking of you. today, after Zohor, i was
hoping to see you on your way to dining hall but then i remembered,
you're now an outsider. i'm feeling ruined here.
-only saw you once today. during assembly like usual.
-got to know your gf. she's beautiful, i admit that. who am i compared to her.
-i hope i can hold on as your stalker in giving hope and strength through
my prayers...
3 OGOS 2010
-today, didn't see him at all.
-i felt like giving you up, aniq. should i? it's because you're a perfect distraction,
a player...
-anyway, i'm tired of this. can i just stay in my dream forever? i'll be happy if
everyday's filled with 'sunshine'.
-can't stop thinking of you. it's annoying me. so much.
4 OGOS 2010(ary yg pelik??)
-bosan je ary nie. xsbr nk g koku tp ttbe ad ceramah la pulak. huk3...
-lgsg xnmpk dye tym pg. dh lost hope sbb ptg xg koku.
-OMGOODNESS! otw nk naek dewan, selisih ngn aniq. aaa~~~ headache
4 a while. eyes meet eyes skjp then cm biase, akuwh tkot nk tentang mate
owg lme2. DANGER!
-dptla tgk muke dye stlh 2 ary xtgk. ha3. tengs to alyn 2 sbb ad teman akuwh.
mke dye, cm biase, nmpk cm sakit or mmg mke dye cm2. tp agk cdeyh ble pkirkn
yg mybe skunk niey ary2 dye dating ngn awek dye. jumpe kt skola, blik sme2,
blablabla... argh! ase cm nk doakn je due2 rsult trok. geram kowt. tp akuwh
rndu suare dye. keldg cm nmpk kelibat dye je kt surau.[-_-']
no komen sl ke'jealous'an itu.
[^_^]
5 OGOS 2010
-saw aniq during assembly. oh yes, in the evening too. he had to conduct the
marching team for the prize giving ceremony. miss his voice. dislike his gf.
hate my 'unable to concentrate'. hate my 'extremely sleepy'.
-dpt cket idea utk projek elek. first da kecut sbb xtau ape, then 'dating' ngn
cgu tym amali solat. dpt la serba cket nasihat & semangat nk bljr + berubah
2 naek la cket. xsbr nk mule projek. =D
-mr. aniq, thanks 4 everything. you just walked out of one of my dreams,
except for the part good result. i will cherish every precious moment of you
and us. haha, maybe you only. for me, you're somehow special because you're
ANNOYINGLY ADORABLE...
i really meant what i say about him when i wrote this.
6 OGOS 2010
-that's it! i've had enough! akuwh xske! walau cmne comel & cocok kowg berdue,
akuwh ttp xske dye. akuwh da tekad, whatever happens, RSULT AKUWH MSTI
LBIH BAGUS DRPD DYE!!! ESPECIALLY PKEE! that's my target for now! 10A+
must be mine!
-i decide to let you go slowly because ihate/dislike her. so, i might as well dislike
you both. frankly speaking, i'm tired of liking you.
-can't wait to meet Mak & Abah. Tomorrow is the day! prize giving ceremony for
the middle year exam scorers. plan to go outing after that.
- tak mungkin,
tak mungkin,
aku menyerah hanya kerna xdapatkan kamu
this time...
i was jealous.
i admit it.
why?
well, she's his gf.
that's the first and maybe the main reason.
then, she's smart.
then, she's smarter than me in pkee.
argh!
seriously, i dislike her.
so i decided to forget about aniq because of his couple.
but as you know already, it didn't work.
7 OGOS 2010
-wargh~! bangge gile td! dpt 8 sijil + anugerah. hope ley kekalkn smpi
SPM 2011. that's my AZAM 4 now.
-g outing. gle arh. total sum hrga brg --> RM142++. asenye arh. mak xckup
duit so tpakse gne duit akuwh (RM100). skunk tggl bpe rggit je. br egt nk bkk
akaun. adoiyai...
-ikmal bg 'Toasted Pocketful'. FREE. dgn add ons (haha) chipsmore kecik n
muzic kecik. asenye da gtau dye akuwh kuar outing. pelik. tp sgt2 bertime
kasih kt dye.
-aniq, asl la rmbut kaw smart ary niey? tp xpe, akuwh nk lpekn feelings akuwh
kt kaw. sbb akuwh xske tgk kaw ngn awex kaw. mknenye sme cm akuwh xske
tgk kaw bahagia. akuwh xnk arh cm2 kn. akuwh nk tgk kaw epy. so i better let
you go and move on to soar higher in the sky...
- today was a fairytale
i met a prince
but i don't even know who he is
-akuwh jmpe kaw kt mcD medan gopeng. kaw, mle2 xnmpk cm dak skola. sbb
kaw pki jaket / coat. tp akuwh nmpk kaw nye cuff putih. so mgkin kaw dak STAR.
mke kaw mke dak pndai or terpelajar. kaw pki spek. kite bertentang mata
beberapa kali. lps 2, akuwh cari kaw tp xjmpe. oh well... kaw agk chumel. akuwh
tringin nk knl kaw. YA ALLAH, KAU PERTEMUKANLAH KAMI SEMULA ANDAI
DIA YANG TERBAIK UNTUKKU, AGAMAKU, DUNIA DAN AKHIRATKU...
i was proud but scared of losing my thrones some day.
ikmal, thanks a lot!
aniq, really can't expect him.
sometimes his hair is just the usual, sometimes it's attracting.
i was really shocked about the meeting at mcD.
i don't even know him up until now.
and maybe forever.
i'm not expecting too much about this guy.
8 OGOS 2010
-ary nie... bosan. xd pape pown. bnyk kali saket aty sbb diperlekehkn oleh
mereka2 yg... lu pikirla sndri. cdey n touche ngn diowg. tp xpe larh ble cdey
skunk, jgn cdey kmudian. who cares kalo akuwh nk study smpi tahap langit
pown kn. yg penting akuwh bahagia. =)
-tibe2 tregt kt kaw. i decided to call you mr. anonymous a.k.a inche
akuwh-tak-tahu-namamu. akuwh nk knl kaw. nk kwn ngn kaw. kalo boley
nk ad jodoh ngn kaw tros. hehe...
-so far it's ok. i'm slowly accepting the truth. congrats miss aie!
-i wanna know you!
this time, i was desperate i think.
well yeah, desperate enough until i hoped that far.
9 OGOS 2010
-ary nie bosan. tp sronok la jgak. dlm claz... mcm biase. xsgke gak diowg2 (boys)
ley wt mmbr. tp kekdg pns gak ngn diowg. huhuhu.
-btw, xsbr nk blik umah!
the boys, they can be your friend.
but not your true or best friend, i can say that.
they can be happy with you, laugh with you, laugh at you...
they don't care much about your feelings.
that's how i see them.
11 OGOS 2010
-nothin to say.
-saw aniq for a while. i'm trying to change my routine:- looking for you and
staring at you. ALHAMDULILLAH working so far.
-first day of FASTING but i couldn't fast. period. hope i can fast tomorrow.
-found out that eff's reason and my reason of choosing electrical engineering's
da same! ha2 =D GO JAPAN!
-someone said i'm cute today! hak2! this one's kinda funny coz i don't think i'm
cute at all. LOL.
-first time, no co-curricular activities. damn great. had some sleep after school.
-didn't wrote for yesterday because lost my sandals, found them this morn before
sahur.
the routine changed for a while.
then it's forgotten.
idk whether i did it on purpose or not.
i'm not sure why i was happy about the reason for choosing EE at that time.
ok maybe i don't want to remember.
the someone was only the dining guy.
nobody special.
i admit i was flattered.
about the sandals, i was really mad.
i searched the whole block for it.
i found it at my neighbour's dormitory, which is only a few steps from my dormitory.
mad?
of course.
but i just told myself to be patient.
i don't want to cause any troubles.
12 OGOS 2010
-not much 2 say like usual.
-touched--> cgu isa gave a hobby kit. he said it's a present for my success.
aaa~ i'm so grateful. he gave it while i'm testing diode in front of him.
-something happened today.
-tomorrow's the day we're going home! can't wait 2 do tarawih prayer at surau.
-mad at the boys behind me for teasing me and laughing like crazy. argh!!!
-gonna meet sis tomorrow. huhu. i want 2 see the new clothes!
i was very grateful about the hobby kit.
the something... had to do with me and my clazmates.
it's kinda p&c.
sorry my Dear.
tarawih prayer at surau, i didn't make it.
we break our fast outside so when we got home, either i was too tired or i couldn't
make it.
the boys, actually, they weren't teasing.
they were making fun of me and insulting (a bit) me.
i so hate them that time.
13 OGOS 2010
-ary nie inche aniq pki specs wk2 assembly... hua3. lwk + klakar! tp chumel...
ntahla. mcm org tua pown ade. huhuhu...
-ary nie balik~!!!
-lgsg xtegur... mgkin ad tgur cket eff. msih lg bengkek ngn diowg sal gay 2. argh~!!
i was surprised to see him wearing specs at first.
i thought he looked weird though.
maybe it's because the specs was the one without frame.
if it's with frame, then i'd say he looked cute or adorable.
i was really offended when the boys made fun of me mainly because of my name.
so i didn't talk to them much.
16 OGOS 2010
- i guess inche aniq didn't come today coz i didn't see him at all.
-didn't talk much at the guys.
-kinda bad day:- slept during math, read novel during islamic education, slept
4 a while during chemistry (KANTOI ngn cgu!) and on top of all, block C didn't
have water this morning. argh!
- today's a little weird... and unusual, and sucks. hate the 'no water' part.
- i wanna go home~!!!
-tomorrow's trial for SPM. i pray u all will do your best and He helps u.
-ALL THE BEST to:-
{ inche aniq, ajan, k.isha, debaters and those who i love... }
i really really really HATE the 'no water' part.
a school in the middle of a city, still has problems with water supply.
grrr...
other than the water problem causing today to become a bad day,
my sleepiness made it worse.
17 OGOS 2010
-first trial--> trial starts today.
-didn't see inche aniq at all. is he absent?
-so sleepy during math. slept almost all the time.
-watched 1957 : Hati Malaya today. can't believe i did cried during the 'no-money'
part. btw, the movie's kinda fun to watch. got a lot of values, i can say that.
-finished soldering my hobby kit today. itu pown sbb da kne tgor ngn cgu sbb xsiap2
agy. ALHAMDULILLAH sempt siapkn td. the best part, before me n una went back,
eff told us to be careful. he said, "jalan elok2, nanti jatuh bangun sendiri."
i answered something about not asking him to help but kinda excited/glad/happy
because it's like he cared. although he didn't show it. i actually don't know whether
it's a joke or a reminder. but i was grateful i have patient friends coz i thought i
asked a lot while soldering the components. they might be annoyed with me, that's
what i think.
i have no idea why i'm so excited/glad/happy about the advice.
and i'm not sure whether advice is the right word.
18 OGOS 2010
-rujuk kt cgu psl litar 2. cgu ckp naty cgu tgk.
-xnmpk inche aniq. is he sick? asked ikmal to gather info 4 me again.
-bnyk tdo wk2 ag ngn kim. asyk ngantok je nieyh...
-alyn ckp dye nmpk aniq pg td. tp aniq nmpk 'serabai'. i'm scared. kinda. i pray
4 his wellness.
huhu.
i was getting scared that time.
scared of what?
him getting sicker.
i still want to see him.
19 OGOS 2010
-yay! litar 2 ok. my fault sbb bnyk dryjoint. trimas cgu!!!
-ikmal ckp something. xdpt tgkp sgt pe yg dye ckp tp dpt la cket2. something like
this--> ... aritu dye pengsan... tahan kt wad/masuk wad... td ak tgk dye dtg... trial...
naq ckp phm2 je la...
-akuwh doakan kesejahteraanmu di mana saja kau berada, aniq.
-agk mls gak ary niey. btw, interview utk pengawas PSS, not bad. went well,
ALHAMDULILLAH...
-air xde agy... bencinye...!!!
-td minx eff guntingkn kertas. dye tlg tp ad la perli/nasihat cm biase... then td
dye jd imam utk Isya' n tarawih 4 first. nsb la akuwh ad kwn yg sgt PERFECT cm kaw!
20 OGOS 2010
-bosan. xd pape pown yg best sgt ary nie.
-tdo je lps buat oral smpi blk.
-argh~! npe akuwh rndu kaw nieyh??? xske3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 OGOS 2010
-tggl 6 org je. 2 blik umah. yg laen g qiamullail. sunyi...........sgt!
-mls nk mati nk g prep. tp pkir mls nk kne mrh ngn prefect yg 'berkaliber',
pegi je la...
-blk prep, tdo. smpi Zohor. lps Zohor, maen UNO. then bina menara kad.
pas2 study balek. bosan gler~
-lpe lak, sebelum maen UNO 2 ktowg maen spelling bee. akuwh, alyn ngn
fatin. bosan pnye psl.
-lps asar, de roll call. nk plih KA ngn PKA. ktowg plih auni ngn alyn. then,
bnde nie jd isu sbb KA skunk xbincg psl nie ngn prefect laen.
-mlm, tarawih cm biase. sebelom tdo, dpt hobby kit (ikmal belikan dlu) ,
cuci mke + gosok gigi, susun tilam kt bwh, sembg2. kul 12 lbih br tdo.
22 OGOS 2010
-mls gler nk bgn awl. sahur ngn maggi tomyam.pergh~!
-aaaaaaaarrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!! xbley outing! sume f5 pnye psl! bnci3! dhle
malu nk mati tym roll call! cgu ckp mcm2! psl pad la, psl kbersihan dorm la,
ktowg ckp roll call cm budak2 la. care ckp mmg xd tapis2, xd cover2 dah!
bengkek!!!
-waktu nk solat Zohor; org yg iqamat pnye suara mcm aniq's. the voice is
still remembered. it kinda haunts me.
-dkt Asar br diowg balek! then diowg cte, diowg jmpe aniq-look-alike.
tringin nk tgk~. tp xpe larh. kne redha ngn takdir-Nya.
i really can't believe it when they told me the story about aniq-look-alike.
alya said she liked aniq more than his 'twin'.
she also said they have one thing in common other than their looks.
that is, they both like to find publicities.
haha.
then, she said that 'twin' is smart because he's going to Russia.
i'm not sure whether he's furthering his studies there or what.
i can't remember much what alya told me about him.
i really want to see him~!
23 OGOS 2010
-kne ceramah agy ngn cgu pg nieyh. dhle ngantuk thp gaban!
-nmpk aniq. pki specs. klaka? =p
-fuzzy ckp dye dtg skool naek moto. helmet xbley nk blah.
-pape pown, missing him. i don't know whether miss as in 'miss' or 'lose'.
-besok exm. hope i can still wear my "shining, glittering tiara" until after SPM!
***** is the best! the best3!
-i pray 4 ur wellness wherever you are; those who i love and aniq.
-I WANNA GO HOME~!!!
24 OGOS 2010
-exm today.
-BM n ADDMATH ALHAMDULILLAH ok. LK prob cket. tangent slack.
-kayd said aniq only got 3 months left. that's what cip told her. YA ALLAH, i'm
really missing him. miss as in 'miss' and lose.
-i hope ALLAH can help me find the light. tired of darkness.
-tomorrow will be exam 4 BI, KIMIA, AG and PKE. i've only studied three of
them. scared. a lot.
-eff's getting colder. we don't talk much these days. guess he's changed. i'm
fine with it then.
-aniq~! i can't believe this! i want to see you everyday but 3 months from now,
i might not. (T_T)
-SADLY OVERDOSED
25 OGOS 2010
-today, he's the emcee. mr aniq, with specs, he looked funny. =)
-i'm a bit surprised and glad because he wasn't using his lazy voice to say
the prayer.
-people was bad-mouthing him, saying he looked weird, ugly, bla3...
-i'm glad just by seeing you. [^_^]
-tomorrow's exm:- MATH, HISTORY, PHYSICS.
-yay! going back home tomorrow! hope the internet's okay.
-3 months from now, i might not see you anymore, aniq. i cannot cry, i cannot let
you know i *some text missing* you. crying won't solve anything. i only hoped you
will be safe and i can only pray 4 u coz i must accept the destiny.
i was a bit glad when i see him that day.
he looked just fine and i'm grateful for that.
at least i can still see him in front of me.
btw, this was wrote with my nicest writing.
i just realize it.
29 OGOS 2010
-wargh~! mls gler nk blik ostel weyh...!!!
-tape2. ujung mggu nie balik jgak umah.
-i decided; i'm gonna lead a happy life from now on. no more of this sad, emo,
bla3 crap. ganbatte *****!!!
-rse bengkek gle ngn kaw aniq! da sket pown nk tackle owg agy. argh!!!
-bosan gle. hope mggu nie ta blaja.
i am now leading a happy life but still thinking of aniq almost all the time.
about the flirting, yes, i was jealous.
i don't even know why i need to be jealous.
hrmm...
30 OGOS 2010
-hepy burfday sis!
-kinda sad can't celebrate with you. glad u liked my present. =)
-argh... damn bored today.
-aniq? no sight of him today. and i'm fine with it.
-i just can't wait to go back home and make biscuits!!!
-btw, today i gave cgu safa the mug. she's thankful, alright!
-hell mad with my MATH mark. 78??? what's the matter with you *****? the test
is so easy and i was careless. this happens only when i'm in a love virus like
this. damn puppy love. how stupid of me to be careless and burned my marks?!
argh! no more guys will be my attention after this!!!
i felt insulted because my clazmate can score full marks and i can't.
how stupid of me to be careless.
guess it's my fault for being obsessed with aniq.
31 OGOS 2010
-MERDEKA!
-the first time ever we slept until after 9... it was totally GREAT!
-kinda boring day. had nothing to do with homework. so made up my mind
and try to change the schematic circuit inti verobod.
-it's so hard. i'm thinking of not furthering in EE.
-i wanna go home! can't wait. i'm suffering here. aaargh~!
-2nd day without him and i'm just fine. GREAT JOB AIE!
2 SEPT 2010
-saw aniq during assembly. thought he's a new student but when i realized it's
him, it was like my heart skipped a beat. nowadays i kept remembering him
almost all the time. i hate this because it shows that he's a big influence on me.
i am holding on and at the same time moving on but it's very, very, hard to
forget him. ignoring? that's a bit easier than forgetting though. [v_v]
-eff's behaviour kinda makes me angry today. so does the other clazmates.
and i am more upset with form 6 seniors for informing us at the eleventh hour.
i hate it when people do that.
-tomorrow will be 'the day'!
that's all of it.
all of my stories since i left you for so long.
tomorrow's Eid and today's our last day of fasting.
i so miss him.
i think.
hak3.
just kidding.
i'm not sure either.
[0_o]
there isn't much fun staying home.
well, i said that because i have homeworks, i have to make cakes and cookies,
i have to tidy up the house and not to mention take turns using the internet.
it's bad enough mom likes to nag.
ugh.
i miss my friends.
at least when i'm with them, i'm always happy.
ok Dear,
i have to go now.
oh yes, i forgot to mention this.
2 days ago,
we had a gathering.
the only ones who came was me, alyn, eyra, intan and yaya.
the gathering's held at didi's house.
we break our fast there.
i snapped some pictures but i couldn't show it to you now.
maybe later.
with our raya pictures.
oh i can't wait!
bye Dear~
missed you so much.
as promised,
i'll tell you everything that happened since the post about him was published.
i copied these from my diary.
here goes nothing.
27 JULY 2010
-yay! for the first time, we passed by each other since... i don't even remember.
but i'm happy.i only saw naq so i was a bit clumsy and panicked but i was
shocked when i saw aniq beside naq. haha! i almost smiled in front of him but
luckily i didn't. i smelled his perfume. so sweet. =) somehow i'm a bit worried
because he looked so sick and he seemed thinner. or is it just my feelings?
i miss him. i'll miss him. btw, i got to know that fuzzy actually told him that
the person apologizing admire him. ALHAMDULILLAH he doesn't know who.
i hope.
-i was fired back by eff. touche much! mad at him, yes. but i just told myself
to be patient.
-a new student in class. i felt disturbed. a girl, fyi.
-i was offered to be a prefect.what to do~!!! HELP! i hate making choices.
i hope someone can help me.
-btw, he's red-dressed today.
this is like the best day ever since i got the news about his cancer.
why?
haha.
it's because of the 'incident', i think.
i really almost smiled in front of him at that time.
luckily i'm a fast walker.
but near the toilet, i stopped and smelled his perfume.
it smells nice, i can say that.
ok, call me crazy or whatever cuz i don't even know what has gotten into me.
i really hope fuzzy didn't tell him who i am.
i'm sure i'll be dead if she does.
about eff, hurmm.
i was really touched and hurt.
i was shocked and didn't say a word to him after that.
the new student's zila.
i was a bit disturbed because she's from cheras technical institution and ex-bainunian.
i was afraid she might stole my tiara.
haha, coward much.
yup, that's me.
the prefect thing, really makes me go nuts that time.
one of the things i hate the most is making choices.
either you make your choice or go crazy.
aniq's baju melayu's red in colour today.
i like this one because i like maroon.
the dark red.
28 JULY 2010
-raining this morning. didn't see aniq at all until after dinner. i chased him
with alyn but not too close. enough to see him from the back.
-he was wearing his 'wedding dress'.
-for maghrib, he was the one who iqamat. i miss his voice...
-i'm gonna miss him a lot. it's only two more days to go for him to stay in
hostel (according to fuzzy and ikmal)
the wedding dress is his white satin (i think) baju melayu.
it really does looks like a wedding dress you know.
haha. [^_^]
29 JULY 2010
-i saw him today at the assembly. i'm using all the time i have too see him before
he become an outsider. i'll miss him by then a lot.
-ikmal said he'll go out on sunday. perhaps this saturday he'll come. yay! i'm a bit
glad but at the same time worried i'll never be able to see him again. i hope
not. i really REALLY do hope NOT.
-one more thing, ikmal said he's holding on. if he manage, he will be operated
after SPM. but if he couldn't, he'll be operated during SPM.
-Ya ALLAH, please save him. Forgive him and his sins, please YA ALLAH.
i love him. AKU SAYANG ANIQ.
-today, it's red-checkered baju Melayu.
-aniq's the one who iqamat for Isya'. azan, i'm not sure. but i saw him get
into the room. i couldn't recognize the voice of the bilal, that's why i'm not sure
whether it was him or other person. but i will miss that sweet, immature voice.
=D
ok, corny.
obsessed much?
never thought i'd wote something like that.
a total embarrassment if i thought about it.
30 JULY 2010
-on top of all, i would say, i'll never forget aniq somehow.
-saw him this morning; while accompanying alyn to fill water. during assembly i
was staring at him almost every min and sec because i'm afraid i don't know
whether i'll be able too see him like this when he's become an outsider. as usual,
he's smart.. ;)
-imam for Isya', him. i was quite disturbed. so i decided to perform Isya' prayer
again.
-he's red-dressed today.
-i think i shouldn't hope too high. Isya' prayer was the sign.
i don't even know why i can't take my eyes off him.
ok i can.
but my brain won't.
about the prayer, i couldn't concentrate.
why?
he made some mistake in reading surah al-Falaq.
no connections?
i know.
that's why i don't understand myself sometimes.
31 JULY 2010
-ary nie ary last aniq kt ostel. esok dye kuar.
-pg: sukan asrama. akuwh msok tarik tali. blok c aras bumi group 2 dpt no 3.
yay~!
-pg: aniq msok bola sepak. hak2. memang diowg dak aspura maen bola je pown.
srononk tp xsronok sbb dpt tgk dye maen tp sluar ats sket drpd lutut n tights.
in other words, ketat. hu2. tp tersgt~la sronok dpt tgk dye maen (wat stunt
sket2) td. ngee~ =D
-ptg: outing. memule xnk tp nk teman alyn. g JJ. mmg pusing abes. first g
popular. yes! akhirnye dpt gak akuwh bce "Benarkan Aku Jadi Pelayanmu".
he2. then g mkn kt food court. then, jln2 jap. bli aiskrim mcD sementara tggu
paan bli KFC. aliaa tau aniq nk kuar sok. paan pulak xsabo nk tgk aniq mlm nie.
agk jeles. hak2. well2, let's see him tonight.
-sory late. xlrt nk tls mlm td. dye pki ala2 waiter. white shirt, black vest, blue-black
trousers and black bow tie. prom queen:- yuna, k.domoi n k.kamala. prom king:-
farid, fitri hakim n ashraf. i received a few gifts; reference books and a glass trophy.
quite happy and very sad. happy because got to spend time with friends and sad
because aniq was always with someone. the f6 girls were taking pics with him.
heartbroken much? too much.
actually i almost lost alyn today.
ha2.
the story?
we split up and promised to meet again at the outside.
i searched the whole mall to find her.
i just prayed and left with paan, hoping she'll be safe since she's with the others.
ALHAMDULILLAH, she came back with the others.
i was really scared she'll wait for me and left alone at the mall.
crazy huh?
btw, i watched him did some stunts and it was quite interesting,
although he's not the school's soccer player.
i was really heartbroken when i saw him on stage with that girl.
i felt like, my heart's made of glass and suddenly it shatters into pieces but it's still
shaped like a heart.
not to mention the taking pictures part.
i couldn't watch it anymore so i left immediately after that.
i'm a bit disappointed since he didn't wear the red shirt and the blazer.
it looks nicer i think.
except for the part where he wears it with the bow-tie.
i only knew about the shirt when he uploaded his pics in facebook.
oh well, time can't be reversed.
LUAHAN HATI
Menyukaimu tapi dirimu tak disukai,
Menyayangimu tapi kau tak menyedari,
Menyimpan perasaan terhadapmu,
Peritnya semua terbuku dalam hati.
Sedih aku kerana pemergianmu,
Gembira aku melihat kelibatmu,
Kecewa aku kerana kau tak mungkin tahu,
Dirimu dikagumi, disukai dan disayangi,
Oleh orang yang tak pernah kau sedari.
Sentiasa berada di hadapanNya,
Dengan harapan kau kembali sembuh,
Tidak lagi menjadi dia yang tak setia,
Dan berada di hadapanku,
Agar aku bisa melihatmu sekali lagi.
that moment, i was thinking of him too much.
then, the poem was created.
in my life, this is the farthest step i have ever made involving a guy who's a
nobody (that's quite how i see him).
1 OGOS 2010
-kosong. sepi. bosan. itu konklusi bagi ape yang aku rase ary niey.
walaupun ada gelak tawa.
-Maafkan aku kerna menyintamu
Maafkan aku tak padan denganmu
Tapi ku berjanji
Kau slalu di hati
Akan ku jaga hingga akhir nanti
-Mungkin aku tidaklah sempurna
Tetapi hatiku memilikimu sepanjang umurku
Mungkin aku tak bisa memiliki
Dirimu seumur hidupku
-panggil ikmal pg td. tp dye xbalik lg pulak. hurmm... cdeyh. aniq da jd
outsider starting today kalo xslp.
2 OGOS 2010
-miss you. rindu kaw.
-first day without aniq at hostel, it hurts actually.
-miss everything about you: your voice, you wearing tight shirts, you
making announcements... i guess everything about you.
-i can't stop myself from thinking of you. today, after Zohor, i was
hoping to see you on your way to dining hall but then i remembered,
you're now an outsider. i'm feeling ruined here.
-only saw you once today. during assembly like usual.
-got to know your gf. she's beautiful, i admit that. who am i compared to her.
-i hope i can hold on as your stalker in giving hope and strength through
my prayers...
3 OGOS 2010
-today, didn't see him at all.
-i felt like giving you up, aniq. should i? it's because you're a perfect distraction,
a player...
-anyway, i'm tired of this. can i just stay in my dream forever? i'll be happy if
everyday's filled with 'sunshine'.
-can't stop thinking of you. it's annoying me. so much.
4 OGOS 2010(ary yg pelik??)
-bosan je ary nie. xsbr nk g koku tp ttbe ad ceramah la pulak. huk3...
-lgsg xnmpk dye tym pg. dh lost hope sbb ptg xg koku.
-OMGOODNESS! otw nk naek dewan, selisih ngn aniq. aaa~~~ headache
4 a while. eyes meet eyes skjp then cm biase, akuwh tkot nk tentang mate
owg lme2. DANGER!
-dptla tgk muke dye stlh 2 ary xtgk. ha3. tengs to alyn 2 sbb ad teman akuwh.
mke dye, cm biase, nmpk cm sakit or mmg mke dye cm2. tp agk cdeyh ble pkirkn
yg mybe skunk niey ary2 dye dating ngn awek dye. jumpe kt skola, blik sme2,
blablabla... argh! ase cm nk doakn je due2 rsult trok. geram kowt. tp akuwh
rndu suare dye. keldg cm nmpk kelibat dye je kt surau.[-_-']
no komen sl ke'jealous'an itu.
[^_^]
5 OGOS 2010
-saw aniq during assembly. oh yes, in the evening too. he had to conduct the
marching team for the prize giving ceremony. miss his voice. dislike his gf.
hate my 'unable to concentrate'. hate my 'extremely sleepy'.
-dpt cket idea utk projek elek. first da kecut sbb xtau ape, then 'dating' ngn
cgu tym amali solat. dpt la serba cket nasihat & semangat nk bljr + berubah
2 naek la cket. xsbr nk mule projek. =D
-mr. aniq, thanks 4 everything. you just walked out of one of my dreams,
except for the part good result. i will cherish every precious moment of you
and us. haha, maybe you only. for me, you're somehow special because you're
ANNOYINGLY ADORABLE...
i really meant what i say about him when i wrote this.
6 OGOS 2010
-that's it! i've had enough! akuwh xske! walau cmne comel & cocok kowg berdue,
akuwh ttp xske dye. akuwh da tekad, whatever happens, RSULT AKUWH MSTI
LBIH BAGUS DRPD DYE!!! ESPECIALLY PKEE! that's my target for now! 10A+
must be mine!
-i decide to let you go slowly because i
you both. frankly speaking, i'm tired of liking you.
-can't wait to meet Mak & Abah. Tomorrow is the day! prize giving ceremony for
the middle year exam scorers. plan to go outing after that.
- tak mungkin,
tak mungkin,
aku menyerah hanya kerna xdapatkan kamu
this time...
i was jealous.
i admit it.
why?
well, she's his gf.
that's the first and maybe the main reason.
then, she's smart.
then, she's smarter than me in pkee.
argh!
seriously, i dislike her.
so i decided to forget about aniq because of his couple.
but as you know already, it didn't work.
7 OGOS 2010
-wargh~! bangge gile td! dpt 8 sijil + anugerah. hope ley kekalkn smpi
SPM 2011. that's my AZAM 4 now.
-g outing. gle arh. total sum hrga brg --> RM142++. asenye arh. mak xckup
duit so tpakse gne duit akuwh (RM100). skunk tggl bpe rggit je. br egt nk bkk
akaun. adoiyai...
-ikmal bg 'Toasted Pocketful'. FREE. dgn add ons (haha) chipsmore kecik n
muzic kecik. asenye da gtau dye akuwh kuar outing. pelik. tp sgt2 bertime
kasih kt dye.
-aniq, asl la rmbut kaw smart ary niey? tp xpe, akuwh nk lpekn feelings akuwh
kt kaw. sbb akuwh xske tgk kaw ngn awex kaw. mknenye sme cm akuwh xske
tgk kaw bahagia. akuwh xnk arh cm2 kn. akuwh nk tgk kaw epy. so i better let
you go and move on to soar higher in the sky...
- today was a fairytale
i met a prince
but i don't even know who he is
-akuwh jmpe kaw kt mcD medan gopeng. kaw, mle2 xnmpk cm dak skola. sbb
kaw pki jaket / coat. tp akuwh nmpk kaw nye cuff putih. so mgkin kaw dak STAR.
mke kaw mke dak pndai or terpelajar. kaw pki spek. kite bertentang mata
beberapa kali. lps 2, akuwh cari kaw tp xjmpe. oh well... kaw agk chumel. akuwh
tringin nk knl kaw. YA ALLAH, KAU PERTEMUKANLAH KAMI SEMULA ANDAI
DIA YANG TERBAIK UNTUKKU, AGAMAKU, DUNIA DAN AKHIRATKU...
i was proud but scared of losing my thrones some day.
ikmal, thanks a lot!
aniq, really can't expect him.
sometimes his hair is just the usual, sometimes it's attracting.
i was really shocked about the meeting at mcD.
i don't even know him up until now.
and maybe forever.
i'm not expecting too much about this guy.
8 OGOS 2010
-ary nie... bosan. xd pape pown. bnyk kali saket aty sbb diperlekehkn oleh
mereka2 yg... lu pikirla sndri. cdey n touche ngn diowg. tp xpe larh ble cdey
skunk, jgn cdey kmudian. who cares kalo akuwh nk study smpi tahap langit
pown kn. yg penting akuwh bahagia. =)
-tibe2 tregt kt kaw. i decided to call you mr. anonymous a.k.a inche
akuwh-tak-tahu-namamu. akuwh nk knl kaw. nk kwn ngn kaw. kalo boley
nk ad jodoh ngn kaw tros. hehe...
-so far it's ok. i'm slowly accepting the truth. congrats miss aie!
-i wanna know you!
this time, i was desperate i think.
well yeah, desperate enough until i hoped that far.
9 OGOS 2010
-ary nie bosan. tp sronok la jgak. dlm claz... mcm biase. xsgke gak diowg2 (boys)
ley wt mmbr. tp kekdg pns gak ngn diowg. huhuhu.
-btw, xsbr nk blik umah!
the boys, they can be your friend.
but not your true or best friend, i can say that.
they can be happy with you, laugh with you, laugh at you...
they don't care much about your feelings.
that's how i see them.
11 OGOS 2010
-nothin to say.
-saw aniq for a while. i'm trying to change my routine:- looking for you and
staring at you. ALHAMDULILLAH working so far.
-first day of FASTING but i couldn't fast. period. hope i can fast tomorrow.
-found out that eff's reason and my reason of choosing electrical engineering's
da same! ha2 =D GO JAPAN!
-someone said i'm cute today! hak2! this one's kinda funny coz i don't think i'm
cute at all. LOL.
-first time, no co-curricular activities. damn great. had some sleep after school.
-didn't wrote for yesterday because lost my sandals, found them this morn before
sahur.
the routine changed for a while.
then it's forgotten.
idk whether i did it on purpose or not.
i'm not sure why i was happy about the reason for choosing EE at that time.
ok maybe i don't want to remember.
the someone was only the dining guy.
nobody special.
i admit i was flattered.
about the sandals, i was really mad.
i searched the whole block for it.
i found it at my neighbour's dormitory, which is only a few steps from my dormitory.
mad?
of course.
but i just told myself to be patient.
i don't want to cause any troubles.
12 OGOS 2010
-not much 2 say like usual.
-touched--> cgu isa gave a hobby kit. he said it's a present for my success.
aaa~ i'm so grateful. he gave it while i'm testing diode in front of him.
-something happened today.
-tomorrow's the day we're going home! can't wait 2 do tarawih prayer at surau.
-mad at the boys behind me for teasing me and laughing like crazy. argh!!!
-gonna meet sis tomorrow. huhu. i want 2 see the new clothes!
i was very grateful about the hobby kit.
the something... had to do with me and my clazmates.
it's kinda p&c.
sorry my Dear.
tarawih prayer at surau, i didn't make it.
we break our fast outside so when we got home, either i was too tired or i couldn't
make it.
the boys, actually, they weren't teasing.
they were making fun of me and insulting (a bit) me.
i so hate them that time.
13 OGOS 2010
-ary nie inche aniq pki specs wk2 assembly... hua3. lwk + klakar! tp chumel...
ntahla. mcm org tua pown ade. huhuhu...
-ary nie balik~!!!
-lgsg xtegur... mgkin ad tgur cket eff. msih lg bengkek ngn diowg sal gay 2. argh~!!
i was surprised to see him wearing specs at first.
i thought he looked weird though.
maybe it's because the specs was the one without frame.
if it's with frame, then i'd say he looked cute or adorable.
i was really offended when the boys made fun of me mainly because of my name.
so i didn't talk to them much.
16 OGOS 2010
- i guess inche aniq didn't come today coz i didn't see him at all.
-didn't talk much at the guys.
-kinda bad day:- slept during math, read novel during islamic education, slept
4 a while during chemistry (KANTOI ngn cgu!) and on top of all, block C didn't
have water this morning. argh!
- today's a little weird... and unusual, and sucks. hate the 'no water' part.
- i wanna go home~!!!
-tomorrow's trial for SPM. i pray u all will do your best and He helps u.
-ALL THE BEST to:-
{ inche aniq, ajan, k.isha, debaters and those who i love... }
i really really really HATE the 'no water' part.
a school in the middle of a city, still has problems with water supply.
grrr...
other than the water problem causing today to become a bad day,
my sleepiness made it worse.
17 OGOS 2010
-first trial--> trial starts today.
-didn't see inche aniq at all. is he absent?
-so sleepy during math. slept almost all the time.
-watched 1957 : Hati Malaya today. can't believe i did cried during the 'no-money'
part. btw, the movie's kinda fun to watch. got a lot of values, i can say that.
-finished soldering my hobby kit today. itu pown sbb da kne tgor ngn cgu sbb xsiap2
agy. ALHAMDULILLAH sempt siapkn td. the best part, before me n una went back,
eff told us to be careful. he said, "jalan elok2, nanti jatuh bangun sendiri."
i answered something about not asking him to help but kinda excited/glad/happy
because it's like he cared. although he didn't show it. i actually don't know whether
it's a joke or a reminder. but i was grateful i have patient friends coz i thought i
asked a lot while soldering the components. they might be annoyed with me, that's
what i think.
i have no idea why i'm so excited/glad/happy about the advice.
and i'm not sure whether advice is the right word.
18 OGOS 2010
-rujuk kt cgu psl litar 2. cgu ckp naty cgu tgk.
-xnmpk inche aniq. is he sick? asked ikmal to gather info 4 me again.
-bnyk tdo wk2 ag ngn kim. asyk ngantok je nieyh...
-alyn ckp dye nmpk aniq pg td. tp aniq nmpk 'serabai'. i'm scared. kinda. i pray
4 his wellness.
huhu.
i was getting scared that time.
scared of what?
him getting sicker.
i still want to see him.
19 OGOS 2010
-yay! litar 2 ok. my fault sbb bnyk dryjoint. trimas cgu!!!
-ikmal ckp something. xdpt tgkp sgt pe yg dye ckp tp dpt la cket2. something like
this--> ... aritu dye pengsan... tahan kt wad/masuk wad... td ak tgk dye dtg... trial...
naq ckp phm2 je la...
-akuwh doakan kesejahteraanmu di mana saja kau berada, aniq.
-agk mls gak ary niey. btw, interview utk pengawas PSS, not bad. went well,
ALHAMDULILLAH...
-air xde agy... bencinye...!!!
-td minx eff guntingkn kertas. dye tlg tp ad la perli/nasihat cm biase... then td
dye jd imam utk Isya' n tarawih 4 first. nsb la akuwh ad kwn yg sgt PERFECT cm kaw!
20 OGOS 2010
-bosan. xd pape pown yg best sgt ary nie.
-tdo je lps buat oral smpi blk.
-argh~! npe akuwh rndu kaw nieyh??? xske3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 OGOS 2010
-tggl 6 org je. 2 blik umah. yg laen g qiamullail. sunyi...........sgt!
-mls nk mati nk g prep. tp pkir mls nk kne mrh ngn prefect yg 'berkaliber',
pegi je la...
-blk prep, tdo. smpi Zohor. lps Zohor, maen UNO. then bina menara kad.
pas2 study balek. bosan gler~
-lpe lak, sebelum maen UNO 2 ktowg maen spelling bee. akuwh, alyn ngn
fatin. bosan pnye psl.
-lps asar, de roll call. nk plih KA ngn PKA. ktowg plih auni ngn alyn. then,
bnde nie jd isu sbb KA skunk xbincg psl nie ngn prefect laen.
-mlm, tarawih cm biase. sebelom tdo, dpt hobby kit (ikmal belikan dlu) ,
cuci mke + gosok gigi, susun tilam kt bwh, sembg2. kul 12 lbih br tdo.
22 OGOS 2010
-mls gler nk bgn awl. sahur ngn maggi tomyam.pergh~!
-aaaaaaaarrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!! xbley outing! sume f5 pnye psl! bnci3! dhle
malu nk mati tym roll call! cgu ckp mcm2! psl pad la, psl kbersihan dorm la,
ktowg ckp roll call cm budak2 la. care ckp mmg xd tapis2, xd cover2 dah!
bengkek!!!
-waktu nk solat Zohor; org yg iqamat pnye suara mcm aniq's. the voice is
still remembered. it kinda haunts me.
-dkt Asar br diowg balek! then diowg cte, diowg jmpe aniq-look-alike.
tringin nk tgk~. tp xpe larh. kne redha ngn takdir-Nya.
i really can't believe it when they told me the story about aniq-look-alike.
alya said she liked aniq more than his 'twin'.
she also said they have one thing in common other than their looks.
that is, they both like to find publicities.
haha.
then, she said that 'twin' is smart because he's going to Russia.
i'm not sure whether he's furthering his studies there or what.
i can't remember much what alya told me about him.
i really want to see him~!
23 OGOS 2010
-kne ceramah agy ngn cgu pg nieyh. dhle ngantuk thp gaban!
-nmpk aniq. pki specs. klaka? =p
-fuzzy ckp dye dtg skool naek moto. helmet xbley nk blah.
-pape pown, missing him. i don't know whether miss as in 'miss' or 'lose'.
-besok exm. hope i can still wear my "shining, glittering tiara" until after SPM!
***** is the best! the best3!
-i pray 4 ur wellness wherever you are; those who i love and aniq.
-I WANNA GO HOME~!!!
24 OGOS 2010
-exm today.
-BM n ADDMATH ALHAMDULILLAH ok. LK prob cket. tangent slack.
-kayd said aniq only got 3 months left. that's what cip told her. YA ALLAH, i'm
really missing him. miss as in 'miss' and lose.
-i hope ALLAH can help me find the light. tired of darkness.
-tomorrow will be exam 4 BI, KIMIA, AG and PKE. i've only studied three of
them. scared. a lot.
-eff's getting colder. we don't talk much these days. guess he's changed. i'm
fine with it then.
-aniq~! i can't believe this! i want to see you everyday but 3 months from now,
i might not. (T_T)
-SADLY OVERDOSED
25 OGOS 2010
-today, he's the emcee. mr aniq, with specs, he looked funny. =)
-i'm a bit surprised and glad because he wasn't using his lazy voice to say
the prayer.
-people was bad-mouthing him, saying he looked weird, ugly, bla3...
-i'm glad just by seeing you. [^_^]
-tomorrow's exm:- MATH, HISTORY, PHYSICS.
-yay! going back home tomorrow! hope the internet's okay.
-3 months from now, i might not see you anymore, aniq. i cannot cry, i cannot let
you know i *some text missing* you. crying won't solve anything. i only hoped you
will be safe and i can only pray 4 u coz i must accept the destiny.
i was a bit glad when i see him that day.
he looked just fine and i'm grateful for that.
at least i can still see him in front of me.
btw, this was wrote with my nicest writing.
i just realize it.
29 OGOS 2010
-wargh~! mls gler nk blik ostel weyh...!!!
-tape2. ujung mggu nie balik jgak umah.
-i decided; i'm gonna lead a happy life from now on. no more of this sad, emo,
bla3 crap. ganbatte *****!!!
-rse bengkek gle ngn kaw aniq! da sket pown nk tackle owg agy. argh!!!
-bosan gle. hope mggu nie ta blaja.
i am now leading a happy life but still thinking of aniq almost all the time.
about the flirting, yes, i was jealous.
i don't even know why i need to be jealous.
hrmm...
30 OGOS 2010
-hepy burfday sis!
-kinda sad can't celebrate with you. glad u liked my present. =)
-argh... damn bored today.
-aniq? no sight of him today. and i'm fine with it.
-i just can't wait to go back home and make biscuits!!!
-btw, today i gave cgu safa the mug. she's thankful, alright!
-hell mad with my MATH mark. 78??? what's the matter with you *****? the test
is so easy and i was careless. this happens only when i'm in a love virus like
this. damn puppy love. how stupid of me to be careless and burned my marks?!
argh! no more guys will be my attention after this!!!
i felt insulted because my clazmate can score full marks and i can't.
how stupid of me to be careless.
guess it's my fault for being obsessed with aniq.
31 OGOS 2010
-MERDEKA!
-the first time ever we slept until after 9... it was totally GREAT!
-kinda boring day. had nothing to do with homework. so made up my mind
and try to change the schematic circuit inti verobod.
-it's so hard. i'm thinking of not furthering in EE.
-i wanna go home! can't wait. i'm suffering here. aaargh~!
-2nd day without him and i'm just fine. GREAT JOB AIE!
2 SEPT 2010
-saw aniq during assembly. thought he's a new student but when i realized it's
him, it was like my heart skipped a beat. nowadays i kept remembering him
almost all the time. i hate this because it shows that he's a big influence on me.
i am holding on and at the same time moving on but it's very, very, hard to
forget him. ignoring? that's a bit easier than forgetting though. [v_v]
-eff's behaviour kinda makes me angry today. so does the other clazmates.
and i am more upset with form 6 seniors for informing us at the eleventh hour.
i hate it when people do that.
-tomorrow will be 'the day'!
that's all of it.
all of my stories since i left you for so long.
tomorrow's Eid and today's our last day of fasting.
i so miss him.
i think.
hak3.
just kidding.
i'm not sure either.
[0_o]
there isn't much fun staying home.
well, i said that because i have homeworks, i have to make cakes and cookies,
i have to tidy up the house and not to mention take turns using the internet.
it's bad enough mom likes to nag.
ugh.
i miss my friends.
at least when i'm with them, i'm always happy.
ok Dear,
i have to go now.
oh yes, i forgot to mention this.
2 days ago,
we had a gathering.
the only ones who came was me, alyn, eyra, intan and yaya.
the gathering's held at didi's house.
we break our fast there.
i snapped some pictures but i couldn't show it to you now.
maybe later.
with our raya pictures.
oh i can't wait!
bye Dear~
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